All my life, I've been chunky,fluffy,thick,cushy, whatever you want to call it and of course there were those people who spared no punches and flat out labeled me fat. I've always been told that I have a pretty or cute face if but then have that person trail off as if it were painfully obvious what stopped that sentence from ending in my favor.
For a while now I've been in denial about exactly how much I weighed, I've been overweight my entire life thats been documented in pictures. My first ever public weigh in I remember was when I was 13 in the 7th grade at Phys. Ed. Our gym coach had called everyone else's weight out but didn't dare utter mine aloud. I mean what do you say to a 220 13 yr. Old? From that day I accepted my weight it wasn't something to be talked about, to be shared, and from the way she reacted I should be ashamed to even mention it.
From there I had thresholds to make sure I was comfortable, first it was as long as I never get to 230, I'm fine, 230 became 250, which led to 275, then just depressed and disgusted with myself I promised myself that while I may not lose weight I would never, not ever let myself weigh more than 300 lbs. I hit that around 17.
When I graduated from HS, I was a whopping 332lbs., my only saving grace was I didn't know that until months after graduation when I weighed in at a gas station on a family vacation. The number shocked me but not enough to healthily lose weight.
I went on pretty much in the same denial until a very cruel ex boyfriend gave me an itemized list as to why he couldn't date me. The first and last reasons were I was just too fat. It was a very nasty wake up call, but in a way I guess I should thank him that was the first time I was able to actually lose weight after being on countless diets from the time I was 13. After our breakup I didn't eat for nearly 3 weeks, I was just that depressed and when I finally broke out of that funk, I went on the Stillmans Quick Weight Loss Diet, if you're not familiar with it you basically eat 10 very low carb foods, equalling about 500 calories a day. Wasn't healthy by a long shot, but for the first time I was able to lose weight and quickly at that.
I got down to 260 lbs. Which looked pretty good on me, especially after being 300+ so long, I got some self confidence, my first job, and a string of boyfriends. I wanted more from life, I did more, I was way more active and for once I was living. 260 was not necesarily a good goal weight but was a far cry from the 332 I once was.
Fast forward a few years, I'm now 25 and starting my weight loss journey all over again but the right way this time. I've had more stress and bad situations happen since that 260 and I'm sadly weighing in at 352 lbs. I would be ashamed and as I've been struggling at that weight for the better part of 3 years I'm not, I'm proud of myself for realizing I need to do this, and that I need to do it healthily. I will reach my goals in this aspect, the first big one is 219 lbs. Which will be my smallest weight in nearly 15 years.
I don't expect my journey to be quick or even easy, but hell I'm a fighter and I will get there come what may.
My plan of Action:
Fat Smash and Weight Watchers
Starting to Exercise everyday at least 30 mins, then working my way up.
Pretty basic for right now.
Anyways time for work.
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