Saturday, April 23, 2011

*Fear/Becoming NaturallyPlusSyze*

Recently, I had a what I like to call a "Come To Jesus" meeting, with my star player(me) and had to come clean about a few things.

Firstly I wanted to thank all 47 of my blog followers, I honestly never though anyone would be interested in anything I had to say or would care enough to follow my journey. I do appreciate all the support that I get from you all and I hope in the coming year to increase that number, but I have a confession to make, I haven't been giving this journey the attention or effort that it deserves, since I started this blog last October I have accomplished very few of the goals that I started off with and I really feel like I've let myself and you all down.

If you browse back through my blog, you will see countless starts, restarts, failures and new beginnings to all end back up where I am currently, yet again trying again to make a new beginning.

My financial goal, physical, hair growth, and spiritual goals have all been slowly fading away and occasionally I get the bug to go hard for a few days to only fizzle out a few days or if I'm lucky in some cases a few weeks later.

I am a habitual yo yo dieter and I am so behind on where I wanted to be that my goals have all fallen to the back burner. :(

The future husband graduates in about three weeks and I am still working on the same goals I set when we met four years ago. I can only sum up what that feels like to have been twiddling my thumbs for the last 4 years while he has actually went out and made his goals happen and i still feel like I'm at point one.

*Btw, yes after only 12 days into my 100 day challenge I have given up, very sad but it seems to be following suit. So short of having my jaw wired shut I have to find something that will work long term and I hate to admit it but the only thing my body responds to is a HEALTHY low carb diet, emphasis on the healthy part, not my eat only meat until I waste away attempt. *

So what did I type all of that out to say?

I'm sick of my own BS and of my fear of succeeding, I am beyond frustrated with what seems to me content with being mediocre and subpar, I can and will do better or I may as well sign myself up for a life of being fat, unhappy, nappy headed and broke, all alone. Because it seriously comes down to if I can't be happy with myself and with my current state I'm not I definitely can't be happy with or make someone else happy that's really all there is to it.

So what does she plan to do this time you may wonder....

Simple, I am going to set goals for myself and give myself a timeline to complete them, and I'm going to be accountable for what I am and what I'm not doing, and I'm asking you all reading this to hold me to it and please call me on my BS if you see me slipping.

April 24,2011- August 27, 2011

Becoming Naturally Plus Size

Weight Goals:

Start: 346.2
Goal: 294.0 (3 Lbs. a week)

Get in the habit of working out six days a week
3 Cardio
3 Strength

Starting with 30 mins and building my way up from there

Start Size: 26/28 W
Goal: 18/20 W

Hair Goals

I"m officially 6 months post today and I will transition for another 12 months so next year this time I will be cutting off any remaining relaxed ends.


I will be using protective braid styles or wigs for the next year.
Maintaining a daily moisture schedule, protect my hair at all times, and I am trying to go heat free for the next year though I know I will be most likely flat ironing for my birthday in August.

For now that's all once I get these two well on the way I may add others.

Be Blessed.
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  1. I am here to hold you accountable. You will be successful this time. Make sure you start out making small changes that you can keep going. Once you have mastered those changes add some more.

    I was where you are now. A tried and true yo-yo dieter. I finally had enough last christmas and now I am well on my way to being a success. I remembered to take it slow and make changes that I could live with for the rest of my life, not just untill I lost the weight. Mostly it is a mind gaame. I had to decide that I would not give up (even though I wanted to on severl ocassions). But seeing how far I have come helps to motivate me to keep going.

    I am sure that you will make it. If you need a friend. I am here. Email me if you like.

    Peace and Blessings Diva

  2. Good luck with everything! I'm a former yo-yo dieter myself and the important thing is you are getting back on board!

    Have a great Easter sunday!

  3. Just found your blog, just wanted to say good luck! You got this.

  4. great goals! You have a lot of good perspective here and Im sure it will take you far!